How to Stop Being Bossy 

Being bossy has its own charms: You can pompously fan your superiority, keep employees on a tight leash,
and hurl truckloads of work without mercy. However, gaining superiority at the expense of your reputation is not a good bargain. Here are some simple tips to follow for those who would like to shed their Devil-like horns and be more approachable to their employees.


1. Stop Being a Perfectionist: Since you know that perfection is an elusive concept, you are willing to drive people to any length to achieve it. But you must understand that such passion might not be shared by them. Not only will they find your standards impossible to live up to, but will secretly dislike your annoying perseverance. Thus, to maintain good team spirit, it is in your best interest to let the idea of perfection sail out of the window. Instead, try focusing on getting the job done at an agreeable standard.

2. Stop Being a Know-It-All: It is extremely annoying to work for someone who makes such a pompous show of their omniscience. Being a ‘control freak’ might work in the confines of your own home, but in the work place, it will tend to reflect as an irritating aspect of your personality. Try and take a step back and assume that the employees will have the adequate intelligence to know how to get the work done.

3. Be Patient: Being a leader, it is increasingly difficult to let someone assume the responsibility or watch someone fumble at a simple task that you can accomplish in a flash. So, it is advised to be patient with your employees and let them learn from their mistakes. This will promote a greater team spirit and will let you earn their trust.

4. Trust the Employees: Being bossy means that you naturally assume that your employees are bungling fools when it comes to work. However, you need to pay more attention than that. Instead of focusing on their shortcomings, direct your attention to their progress and their potential. Provide positive feedback when someone works well. Trust them enough to let them make their own mistakes and guide them when they fall.

5. Build Consensus: With a democratic government handling the country, such rampant dictatorship in the workplace will not be tolerated. Deconstruct the idea of leading, instead focus on building a self-sufficient team. Seek consensus on your personal opinion regarding projects. Not only will this make the neglected opinions come to the fore, but will also promote a sense of belonging, within the workplace.

6. Generate Feedback: Communication in the workplace begins to stagnate when it is flows in only one direction. Let your employees know that you admit to being a ‘control freak’ and are willing to change. Be humble and ask them to let you know when your bossy side begins to show and reassure them that you will try and control it. This sort of feedback will make you aware of yourself and minimize your 'bossy' streak.
Being bossy doesn’t necessarily make you a good boss. To maintain a healthy working atmosphere, you need to pay attention to your employees’ needs. Following the above mentioned steps will ensure that your bossy and conceited side never surfaces at your workplace.

 

Bossy (Tips for stopping bossy behavior)

Preschoolers can be very bossy.  They have big ideas running through their minds and they want things done just exactly right.  They tend to be egocentric.  They want others to play the way they want to play, and they struggle to take “no” for an answer.  Just this morning I walked into the playroom to hear Riley declare, “If Liam won’t play my way then I’m NOT playing!” as she stormed out.

Adults can be bossy too, but adults know when to back down.  Adults recognize when things are not working out and they form a new plan.  When preschoolers are in bossy mode, they have difficulty moving beyond their own immediate needs.

Most preschoolers have moments of bossiness, but some have dominant personalities.  This can lead to more consistent bossy behavior.

Telltale signs of a “bossy” preschooler include:  Telling other kids that they do things wrong, having difficulty waiting for a turn (more often than not), disagreeing with rules (and often creating new rules), focusing on winning, and interrupting often.

Personality can certainly contribute to bossiness, but there are other factors that cause young children to act bossy as well:  Trying to gain some control, limit testing, attention seeking, and copying the behavior of another child or an adult can all result in bossiness.

The good news is that bossy kids tend to be bright, gifted, and creative.  The bad news is that, the older they get, they can tend to become isolated if the bossy behavior continues.  No one likes to be bossed around all of the time.

Parents of bossy kids need to be on high alert for bossy behavior and work on ways to help their kids negotiate with others.

Below are some tips to help you help your child stop bossing:

1.   Set clear rules:  Bossy kids love to take over the enforcement of rules in their home.  They might even add to the list of rules without your consent.  Set a few clear rules and post them all over the house.  Kids respond well to visuals.  Post them in the play area, kitchen, and bedrooms.  Enforce rules swiftly and without debate.  If you provide an opening, a bossy child will talk until her needs are met.  State the rule and move on.

2.   Be the boss:  Your children should know that you are in charge.  You want to avoid over-controlling, as this shows children that bossy is better, but they do need to know that you set and enforce the rules.  Use a calm, firm voice (avoid shouting) when enforcing rules.  Don’t allow children to enforce the rules for each other.  Liam is fond of yelling out the rules when he’s been wronged (regardless of the fact that one of the rules is “no yelling”).  I always remind him that mommy and daddy are in charge.

3.   Practice mutual respect:  We don’t allow our kids to yell at us, yet sometimes we yell at them.  Sure, in times of danger a raised voice is sometimes what is required.  Otherwise, try to model behavior that you want your child to learn.  Apologize when you make a mistake and keep your voice firm but calm when correcting behaviors.  Avoid humiliation when correcting bossy behavior in a group setting.  Pull your child aside and point out specifics followed by examples of more appropriate ways to handle the situation.  It’s tempting to say, “Stop being bossy” but that doesn’t help your child understand where she went wrong (she might not recognize her behavior as bossy).  Be specific with both the behaviors and the solutions.

4.   Provide choices:  Often times children become bossy in an attempt to gain some control over their lives.  It’s difficult to have very limited choices.  Allow your children to choose their clothing as much as possible (mine choose every day).  Provide choices when it comes to food, chores, and other daily activities.  Liam tends to shut down when he feels like he’s being hurried through his morning jobs list.  When I say, “would you rather brush your teeth first or get dressed first?” he gets back on track.  Give them some control when you can.

5.   Say yes:  Have you ever heard “no” all day long?  Me neither.  But I suspect that it’s probably fairly deflating.  Preschoolers are always being told what to do, and they are always following rules.  Say yes to their requests whenever possible.  It helps them feel heard and gives them a sense of control.  Just today I sat back and watched as Riley poured her entire water bottle over her toy horses to give them a bath at the kitchen table.  She had fun and she helped me clean up after.  No harm done.  Say yes sometimes.

6.   Pay attention:  Often times bossy children are starved for 1:1 time.  Life is busy and there is always something to be done.  Carve out at least 20 minutes of uninterrupted 1:1 playtime for you and your child each day.  Let your child direct the play.  Engage in bonding activities that interest your child.  Riley always has a much better afternoon when I opt out of getting work done during her quiet time and instead let her lead us through her imaginative play.  She needs my attention more than I need sleep; I can work at night.  Presence is not the same as attention.  Step away from the cooking, cleaning, Tweeting, etc. and just play with your child.

7.   Act it out:  Preschoolers love to role-play.  They get to use those active imaginations!  Have a puppet show where one character is bossy.  Have the puppets work on negotiation.  Role-play specific scenarios with your child.  Have her play both the bossy kid and the one who is bossed around.  Do a role reversal:  Allow your child to be you for fifteen minutes.  She gets to make and enforce the rules, choose the meals, and run the show.  It will probably be fairly eye opening.

8.   Play for fun:  Bossy kids love to win and can become overly focused on who is “winning” at all times.  When playing games, focus on enjoying the game.  Make comments about how much fun you’re having while playing together.  Avoid asking who won; instead ask who had fun.  Bossy kids need to learn that winning isn’t everything.

Bossy behavior can be frustrating for parents.  Like I said, no one wants to be bossed around.  The best way to help your child is to be aware and jump in to help so that she can learn which behaviors are bossy and how to change them.  Bossiness can’t be cured overnight, but the sooner you start the sooner your child will learn to play fair with others.

 

How to Deal With Bossy People on Your Job

If you poll people about why they quit their last job, you might be surprised to discover that many of them quit because of co-workers instead of the actual job. Working around bossy people -- even your true boss -- can be difficult and, occasionally, ruin an otherwise perfect job. While employees typically cannot do anything about bossy customers, they do have options when dealing with co-workers and even bosses who are difficult to work with. 

Instructions:

1.  Think about the person's statements. While you may not appreciate how she is voicing her opinion on how you should be performing your job, it might be valid. Possibly, this is not the first time she spoke with you about the same issue and the bossy tone is her way of making you hear her.

2. Talk with the person about how his bossiness makes you feel. Some people just communicate in an adversarial way and may not realize that you feel demeaned in conversations. Explain that while you are doing your best to do your work to his specifications, you feel that the way he speaks to you does not convey any respect for your abilities.

3. Ask the bossy person if she is having a bad day or if something is wrong. If the bossy behavior is not normal, she may have some personal issues that are affecting her behavior at work. Even if she does not want to talk about the issue, bringing up her behavior may make her realize that she is being abrupt and bossy. This alone can stop the behavior.

4. Talk to your boss or the human resources department if your company has one. Your superiors may not be aware of any issues among employees and reporting the behavior can cause someone with the authority to put a stop to it.

5. Stay away from the person. Granted, this is not possible if the person is your actual boss, but if it is someone you work with on a regular basis, talk to management about transferring to another department. Even if you cannot change departments, you may be able to decrease your interaction with him.
Ignore the person. If you have tried everything -- and the person does not have the authority to boss you around -- ignore her. You do not have to be rude to get your point across, just tell her that you are aware of what needs doing and have your own system for getting it done. Thank her for the help and then complete your work in the way that best works for you.

 

 

 

 

How to Stop a Child From Being Bossy

A bossy kid may be the result of a family trait or a psychological need in the child to conquer fear and insecurity, say psychological experts. Whatever the reason, a child let too lenient can have a troubled future; no one wants to be around a bossy character. His bossy behavior can impact his relationships with people, and he may end up alone in the future. Putting a break on your child's bossy behavior at an early age is your responsibility as a parent.

Instructions:

1. Exercise your parental rights when you encounter your child behaving in a bossy manner. Explain to your child that you will not tolerate her bossiness. Assume a stern posture; make eye contact with your child and tell her in precise terms not to do what she is doing. "You have had your turn with the toy. It's now your brother's turn. So, please give it to him." Stop any comments that she may be about to make by saying: "I don't want to argue with you. Just give it to him." The key here is to act immediately.

2. Convince your child that you will always be there by her side. Parents often respond to their kids' aggressive behavior by withdrawing from them. One of the reasons for bossy behaviors is a feeling of insecurity, and children may mask this need for comfort and security by acting out and exhibiting bossy behavior, say psychological experts on Reader's Digest website. When you refuse to connect with your child, you only feed more fear of insecurity, which makes the kid bossier. Instead of withdrawing, spend more time with her on a daily basis by playing, drawing or doing other joint activities. Steer the conversation toward her behavior during these times when she feels comfortable and secure. You may suggest this option: "You want your favorite item every day on your dinner table. I cannot do that. Why don't we try something like cooking your favorite food on the weekends and going with what I do on the remaining days?

3. Model respectful behavior for your kids. Share "thank you," "sorry" and "please" during family interactions. Praise your kid when she follows what you have said and controls her behavior. A hug is not bad either. Such rewards encourage positive behavior.

 

4. Practice enforcing rules consistently. A one-time implementation does not convey your seriousness to your kid, and she can easily fall back to her earlier ways.

Tips & Warnings:

• Avoid attempting to enforce rules when there is a fight brewing among adults. A child cannot learn in a hostile environment. Settle your fights before enforcing discipline on your child.

"That bossy coworker of yours might just need a person who'll make him realize of his mistakes and hopefully he'll get rid of that old habit."

To have your boss giving orders and asking you to do tasks is already a handful. What more if a coworker adds up to your workload because he's being so bossy? How do you handle bossy coworkers without being too harsh and disrespectful? Here are helpful tips on how to deal with bossy coworkers:

First, know your priorities. It's always a good idea to do what your real boss asks you to do and doing only the specific instructions he gave you. If your bossy coworker insists on you to do what he says, politely say that you're appreciative of the ideas he has in mind and you'd gladly do that if ever your boss really relayed that certain task for you. For example, you'll tell him "You have a pretty good idea there Jim, but are you sure that's how it's done? Mr. Stevenson told me himself that I should be doing it this way. Maybe I should ask him again, just to double check." This helps him get the idea that you consider his advice but you only follow what your real boss told you.

If ever he insists that you follow his orders and that he's just relaying what your boss had said to him. Confirm this by emailing your direct superior; it's always good to be sure. You'll never know if the person is speaking of the truth unless you confirm it straight from your boss. Your "actual task" might just be jeopardized if you'll go ahead and do what your bossy coworker is asking of you. Your reputation might go down the drain as well if ever he's telling a lie about the whole thing.

Lastly in dealing with bossy coworkers, you should also assess what type of person they really are. He might just be that kind of person since it's his way of motivating and pushing you to do your best, especially if you're still a newbie at work. Others may do that to you because psychologically, it's their way of showing that they enjoy the attention when they are smart and helpful. So get to know the person sincerely, they might not be aware that they are being too manipulative or controlling towards others. By the time you're making the person comfortable towards you, tell them nicely about how others think of them. That bossy coworker of yours might just need a person who'll make him realize of his mistakes and hopefully he'll get rid of that old habit.